bad

Seems I'm having a hard time. In the last 3 days, I've had wine one night and crappy food all the rest. Now I do feel like crap. Chills, clammy, body aches, mental fog. I feel poisoned. Food and to a lesser extent wine have been my only comforts for a long time. My husband is the same way. I can't blame him, but at the same time, I do feel pulled down by him. I feel worse today than I have in a very long time.

Day whatever

My blogger was down for a few days there, but I stayed on plan.

Saturday and Monday I did some backsliding. With husband and kids and cooking etc etc etc, I ate some junk, drank some wine. I still feel really, really good and have gained only 2 pounds back. I don't feel hopeless or like giving up.

It is back on track today. As easy as it has been for me to stick to this plan, it is surprsing how easy it was to screw up. Chalk it up to old habits that die hard.

days 10 and 11

Good and great. I feel like I'm "switched over" to eating this way. I feeling very fine without wine. I'm still losing about a pound a day. I have a bout 50 pounds to go to get a a really healthy skinny weight. Dr Fuhrman says if you stick to the diet, only eat when you are truly hungry and exercise moderately, the weight will drop to its ideal and stay there. I have no idea what my ideal weight is. I'm guessing somewhere between 140 and 120. I feel like it will be a nice suprise when I get there.

day 9, week 2

Another good day in the books. Pretty sure I hit my quota of vegetables. I feel really nice.

Day 8. one week wrap up.

I'm done with the first week! I can say these few things about my first week on Dr Fuhrman's food plan (vegetarian for aggressive weightloss):

1) it has not been difficult to avoid the things on the avoid list, except and a few daily tablespoons of salad dressing.

2) It has been difficult to consume the amount of vegetables prescribed. I have not yet been able to get 1 pound of raw and 1 pound of cooked veg down my neck yet!!

3) I am not hungry more than once or twice a day. In the morning I want breakfast and I'm pretty hungry by about 1pm. If I eat a huge salad with beans and fruit, I feel pretty comfortable for the rest of the day. I've been reluctant to stuff more greens in my mouth at dinner.

4) I'vee lost 7 pounds this week and 4 inches off my waist.

For this coming week, I plan to:

1) make green smoothies as a way to hit the daily greens quota.

2) water my salad dressings down to half and half.

3) exercise more

4) experience the true hunger described in Dr Fuhrman's book.

day seven, week one

Last night was hard emotionally. I made an amazing chicken and pasta dinner for my family, with 2 cooked green veg and a salad. My husband drank 3/4 bottle of wine and baked a chocolate cake. Then he had chips and salsa. I stayed on track 100%, but felt very disconnected with him.

Food and wine have been a huge "glue" for our relationship. From the very beginning our relationship revolved around food and wine. From our first dates, our wedding, our honeymoon, our parties and family dinners. I'm feeling sad and afraid to let that go, but we have both gained over 50 pounds since we met 11 years ago. We've had 2 kids, earned a masters degree, bought 2 houses and a pacemaker, a c-pap, and a seizure disorder. We argue and snipe almost all the time these days. Maybe my transitioning to this nutritarian lifesyle is another big transition for us that will bring more stress, but what I'm really after is peace.

I hope this and all the other things I've done to change in the last few years will be worth it. Health, happiness and peace. These are my only goals for me and my family. I hope this is will work.

Last night did end on a great note. Because I hadn't been drinking, I felt clear and light and spent great quality time with the kids. Ane when I woke up this morning, I had lost another pound!

day 6

Farmer's market today. I'm going to try hard to hit that 1 pound each of raw and steamed veg today. Feel fine. No wine, coffee, sugar, animal products or flour.

day 5

I'm getting the 1lb each of raw and steamed veg. I bought a food scale to get an idea of just how much that is. I'm not even close, but at least avoiding everything on the no-no list. Its not too hard and I feel ood today

day 4, 38 to go

I felt really good today. I haven't been hungry except for just before noon. I had a salad with beans. I did have a little slip when I had 3 pieces of freshly baked whole-wheat sourdough bread. Note to self: Don't buy fresh bread anymore.
I'm a little worried about how my not drinking alcohol will affect my marriage. He likes to drink a glass or 2 or 3 of red wine almost everynight. I'm so used to joining him and I've found myself avoiding him because I don't want to be around the alcohol. Especially if he wants to be intimate, if he's been drinking and I have not, I just don't like it. Its like we are not on the same page. This is something I have to work through.

d 3, 39 2 go

Headache is gone today, and my mood is good. My energy is low and I have no focus. No cravings.

day 2, 40 to go

very.bad.headache.

day 1, 41 to go

Today was easy. No caffiene headache, yet. If anything, I feel thirsty and a little anxiuos.

I've tried this and many other plans before and not followed through. I'm addicted to food for pleasure, relaxation and disctraction. I sure love the wine for the same reasons. l know that if I can make it this 6 weeks, I'll feel so good about myself.

If I can't make 6 weeks without alcohol, I'm going to AA.